Things that Amuse Me

I have been really consumed with getting my life together over the past few days. I have gotten a lot done and I can start to settle into what is my new life. It is amazing how life can throw you a curve ball and your life instantly changes. It is scary and exciting at the same time. I have now reached the excited part of the whole thing.

I will be starting school Monday!!! I have to say that I have not let any grass grow under my feet since I accepted the lay off. I was given the choice last Friday...told them my decision on Monday...Signed up for my unemployment and for school on Tuesday!

That may not seem like an amazing thing to most of you but it is for me. You see, I have honestly never taken a real risk in my life. Let me explain why.

Where I grew up, taking a risk is only something that you do by planting 1 week earlier than the almanac tells you to...it is not something that you do in life. Your life is laid out by the status quo...you do not dare to dream. That is where I was totally different...I did try to dream. As a child, I wanted to be a news anchor, lawyer, teacher, artist, weather woman, etc. I dreamed....but each time I told anyone of my dreams they would just say that there was no way that I could get that. Over time, my dreams and my ability to dream went away.

Over the years, and after 2 marriages where I was held down and really taught that I wasn't worth much...it has taken some real time to get back to the point where I could dream.

So, here I am...36 years old, and I just now figuring out what my dreams are and I actually feel confident enough to go for them.