Things that Amuse Me

Do you remember when you were a kid? When things were as simple as picking out the right thing to wear for the day? When most every choice that you had really wasn't a choice at all?

My oldest daughter reminds me of those days. She can't wait to be a grown up. I tell her that it doesn't get any better. Parents telling you what to do just gets replaced by a boss telling you what to do. Parents telling you what you can spend money on just gets replaced by bill collectors and the IRS. She just looks at me like I am crazy.

So, what is my point? I have some really big choices to make in my life right now. What do I really want for my life? Will making changes really "change" anything? What are my choices and which one is the best one?

It all just makes me long for those simple times when someone could just tell me what to do.

All I do know is that I have really steered far away from the things that I know are right. Somewhere along the way I decided that a little happiness was enough and that the things that I really want for my life do not matter enough to fight for.

It all just makes me want to pull my hair out!

Maybe it is because the a**hole saga continues...or maybe it is because personally my life is just crazy right now...maybe it is because I really messed up my sleep schedule last week...I don't know but I am just really down today.

I have this lump in my throat feeling that tells me I would just break down if someone looked at me wrong. I hate days like this. I know I am feeling something...but I can't put words to it. I try but the words don't seem to match up to the emotion.

So rather than just write a gloom and doom post this morning...I am going to go on with my day and hope that my day improves. If it does, I will come back.